Sunday, November 28, 2010

Africa Trip

I was on a plane to Africa when a man that had skin just like an elephant sat down beside me. His eyes were as wide as a coach and stared at me coldly with blue empty eyes. He was an alien. I knew he smoked because, he smelt just like a chimney. The plane was heated a little to well so when the flight attendant offered us drinks we both said yes. I was relieved when we got the drinks except his drinking sounded like a car engine revving. Luckily the flight was only two hours, so we never got provided a meal. When we were getting ready to get off the plane he stood up first being as tall as the Eiffel tower. After getting off the plane I rushed to go pick up my luggage where I met the man I was sitting beside yet again. The luggage he obtained was as wide as a river. The fun of my trip now begins because I have arrived in Africa for my two-month vacation.

2 comments:

  1. Some nice imagery in your descriptive paragraph. Try to avoid too many sentences beginning with I in your college application. More parallel structure would help. Missing one assignment. 18/36

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  2. How did I miss that? revised total = 30/36

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